Once again I was privileged to have 2Dogs around me. After the death of the late and much lamented Jerry (Springer Spaniel) there has only been one dog in my life. Maggy Mae is beautiful to the point of daily compliments from strangers taking the time to stop and admire her.
A new puppy needed some ‘mentoring’ from a calm and sensible adult role model, so Maggy Mae was invited for a play date.
After some initial trepidation from Bella the puppy soon realised there was no threat or likelihood of ill temper from the visitor. Soon they began mutual scent appreciation followed by a couple of chase me games. Biscuits and a drink slowed down activity to snuggle time, but quickly enough a WWF style wresting match took place in the kitchen. Once all available energy had been expended it was time for home. Maggy Mae was ready to leave and Bella needed her nap.
Great fun was had by all and it was wonderful to be 2Dog person again, even if only for a little while. There truly is only one thing better than owning a dog? 2Dogs!
04:30 is not a good time to wake up. However, if you do there are some positives as the pattern seems to have developed for me.
1. It is very quiet and peaceful.
2. The brain is very alert and crystal clear.
3. Reading or writing become a much more intense experience.
4. Creativity is enhanced.
5. Concentration is sharper.
Please don’t misunderstand me, I am someone who enjoyed 8 – 10 hours uninterrupted sleep consistently during my life. I developed the ability to sleep while others moved and carried on their lives around me. As an only child I found this particular skill missing when I was sent to Boarding School. Every sound of the human bodily functions that happen to others when they sleep managed to keep me awake. I remember being in serious trouble for punching a sleeping roommate who wouldn’t/couldn’t stop snoring.
From a Boarding dorm to a barrack block room with shift workers coming and going at all times of day and night, I eventually developed the capacity to sleep soundly regardless of my surroundings.
Unfortunately, now I find falling asleep at any time of day or night a common occurrence even when we have visitors. However, such events do not last long which brings me back to – 04:30 is not a good time to wake up.
An overwhelming feeling of disappointment fuelled by impossibly high expectations. For many the idea of a couple of hours walking in the open, away from roads and people, even signs of habitation would be anathema. For me being exposed to the elements, rain, sun, snow, soft or strong wind with the earth beneath my feet, these are the indications of a heaven.
Manual labour enhances the feeling of Godliness, the capacity to create or destroy using the material around us, the strength of our bodies and the intellect to plan, design, visualise a concept before its creation. These are the signs of our greatness.
This being so, why, how can we inflict such cruel and inhumane acts upon each other?
We have the potential and many many examples of kindness, selflessness, devotion, compassion and understanding all around us. So much pain and misery will happen without human intervention in the form of illness and natural disaster. Why do we feel the need to create more.
Perhaps as we get older these truths are revealed in order to prepare us for the disappointment of our humanity and acceptance of our own mortality.
I’m relaxing in my garden, warm enough to sit out and contemplate the future. Savouring every minute “Before Operation”, which I know means a period of pain and suffering. The thought of having titanium rods screwed into each vertebrae with supporting bone grafts from below my shoulder blades down to my tail is a little daunting.
Every day people all over the world are undergoing much more serious and certainly more life changing procedures. I know this, plus there is a very good chance I will recover with less pain and more mobility (not difficult).
The current cocktail of Tramadol, Butrans patches & liquid morphine ensures pain levels are manageable, but doesn’t help with the lack of control from the waist down.
Anyway, I thought it might be interesting to record thoughts & feelings experienced over the coming weeks. Waking around 4:30 am and unable to go back to sleep allows for many hours during which I can let you know how I feel.
At the moment I am scared the surgeon will inadvertently cause damage and create a problem where currently there isn’t one!
trying out this blogging malarky to see if there is any fun to be had.
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